


Eavesdropping

by coffee666



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Love Confessions, M/M, im gay here we go, slight hand kink bc dont you guys realize who the fuck you're reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:30:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9233246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee666/pseuds/coffee666
Summary: Jim knows for a fact that Spock and Uhura and talking about him when they start whispering in Vulcan. He has no idea what they're saying, until he takes it upon himself to learn the language.___Spock gushes about his crush on Jim, having no idea that Jim can understand him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> For Finn, who wrote [this text post](http://psock.tumblr.com/post/155407804186/spock-telling-uhura-in-vulcan-that-jim-looks) and then I got obsessed with it. (I also tweaked some things but shh it's okay)

Jim was in a state halfway between awake and asleep when he heard it. He knew he shouldn’t be sleeping on duty, but they still had several weeks before they reached their destination, and he was tired. It was his own fault –that much he was willing to admit. He’d let his paperwork pile up over the past few days, and last night when he’d finally sat down at his desk to tackle it, the most curious thing had happened.

Spock had chimed to enter Jim’s quarters, requesting a game of chess. It had taken a minute for Jim to realize this was actually happening. He and Spock had played before, but it’d only ever been in the rec room. But here was Spock, setting the board up on the low table in the center of the room. Jim glanced momentarily towards his paperwork, before shoving it all in a drawer and sitting down opposite Spock.

He knew it’d been irresponsible, especially since he’d had to stay up very late once Spock left, in order to get all of the work done. But he also knew it was worth it. Spock was an enigma. His tactical nature made him a great first officer, but it was the small moments off duty when Jim glimpsed a different side of Spock. While still utterly logical, there was something else there as well. Jim wasn’t sure what it was, but he liked it very much.

He’s very tired today. He can tell everyone else is getting bored too. He’d seen Sulu and Chekov playing a game of hangman on their padds, and he couldn’t even reprimand them when he himself had been playing solitaire behind his own eyelids for the past two hours.

The bridge is quiet, making discreet napping easier. There’s the occasional hushed conversation from the helm, and the occasion beeps of various machinery, but other than that, just the silence of space. Jim heard footsteps as behind him as Uhura crosses to Spock’s station.

They’re speaking Vulcan, which doesn’t particularly interest Jim, so he keeps his eyes closed. He thinks it’s nice of Uhura to talk to Spock in his native language, especially considering what happened to Vulcan. As well as the fact that she’s the only one who can even remotely pronounce some of those words.

Despite the fact that their voices carry pretty far, he doesn’t understand a word, until he hears his name. Well, not his name, but his rank. Ang'jmizn. He knows that means captain. He sits up a bit, his eyes opening, and his chin lifting from his hand. He makes to turn around in his chair towards them, but stops. They won’t keep it up if they know he’s listening. Plus, he can’t understand any of it anyways. So he slumps back in his chair and looks ahead, watching the stars stretch out before him. He catches _ang'jmizn_ one another time, this time in Spock’s low impassive voice. It’s stuck in his head the rest of the day.

❖ ❖ ❖

“Do you think people talk about me?” Jim found himself blurting out to McCoy later that night.

“Talk about you how?” He tossed back the last of his drink. “Like gossip? Cuz, I hate to break it to you kid, but yes. They probably do.”

“Not really like gossip…” Jim looked just over McCoy’s shoulder at Uhura and Spock, who were leaving the dining hall, once again locked in deep conversation. He swore he saw her eyes flick over to him for a split second before they left. “Like, uh, criticizing? Maybe?”

“What’s there to criticize? You haven’t made a stupid decision in almost a month.” He grinned. “Not a _really_ stupid decision, anyways.”

“Well, I don’t know what else they’d say about me…” Jim mumbled mostly to himself as he turns his attention back to his dinner. Something psychological in him warped from his time on Tarsus, so he doesn’t lose his appetite, even when he can’t stop thinking about it.

McCoy was right. It was inevitable that he was talked about. Hell, there were probably people in this very ship talking about him right this second. He just thought things were getting better, if marginally. He tried not to act so rash anymore, and he always listened to what Spock said, even if he ended up ignoring it completely.

But the thing with Uhura and Spock, was that they’d first met him during some of his less than finer moments, and he was sort of afraid they were never going to see past that. Especially Spock, who just last night had let Jim see a relaxed side of himself over chess. Well, maybe not _relaxed,_ but it was different.

“Who are you talking about, anyways?” McCoy leaned in across the table.

“No one.” Jim didn’t look up as he gathered his tray. “It’s probably nothing.”

❖ ❖ ❖

Spock wasn’t sure what compelled him to confide in her, when she already knew the secret. She’d told him as much the night they broke up. Spock had known it was the most logical decision. Not only had he and Nyota been spending less and less time together, the time they did spend together wasn’t as fulfilling or enjoyable as it used to be.

The beginning of their relationship had been a fascinating time. He had learned human social cues of romance, such as hugging and touching, just as she had learned Vulcan cues of the same vein. At this point in time, he’d known exactly what to say to make her smile, and she knew exactly what to say to keep him content. But he could not see himself and Nyota getting married. So it was only logical to terminate their involvement.

The fact that it was the most logical decision did not make it any easier on the persistent human part of his being. She chimed to enter at the exact time he’d requested. That was one thing he’d always liked about her –she was punctual.

“Sorry I’m late…” She said as she strode past him to the table where he already had tea set out. “Things got so hectic just before my shift ended.”

“You are right on time.” He told her, almost with a pang of disappointment. It is not that he craved someone who was tardy. It was more accurate to say he craved variety.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” She asked as she reached for her cup. That was another thing about her. They hardly ever stumbled over phrases anymore. She knew exactly how to get to her point across on the first try. It wasn’t that he craves someone confusing. He just knew he craved something more than this.

“Nyota, I have something I would like to say.” It is logical, he told himself over and over again, as he sat down opposite her.

“You wanna break up.” She said nonchalantly as she takes a sip of tea.

“I –“ He had thought they were past this stumbling over phrases. Yet, he realizes this is the last of the social cues he needed to learn. He’d never broken up before.

“Sorry,” She said to correct herself. “You wish to terminate our involvement. I get it. It’s fine.” She sipped her tea again.

“You are…not upset?”

That was another thing. She never cried. He used to greatly appreciate that, but now, he isn’t so sure. He knows it is illogical to crave an emotional outburst when he himself suppresses all emotion, and yet, the way humans got so red in the face…fascinating.

“No. I mean, I had a great time being with you, Spock. You’ll always be important to me.” She didn’t reach for his hand, as she knew he never cared for that. She was always understanding. That was another thing. “But I could tell this was coming to its natural end. We’re both ready to pursue other people, don’t you think?”

That hit a little too close to the truth, so he kept his eyes down and reached for his own tea. A noncommittal is made somewhere in the back of his throat.

“Spock?” She leaned her elbows on the table, and he could tell she’s giving him a curious look, even when he wasn’t looking at her. “…Can I ask you something.”

“Of course.” He said, though he really wishes she wouldn’t. He knew what she wanted to ask. His eyes flicked up to hers for a fraction of a second, and it must be enough for her to see what she suspects.

“You _are_ interested in someone else!” She said in an awed whispered.  
“ _What is your question?”_ Spock practically snapped. His face burned, and not just from hastily drinking his tea.

“You don’t have to tell me who…” She practically smirks. “But you’ll tell me if I guess correctly?”

He didn’t comment, he just sipped his tea. He was no longer worried. Nyota is smart, but she’ll never know the truth. No one will ever know, because he hasn’t even admitted it to himself.

“It’s Kirk, isn’t it?” Her smirk widened. He nearly scalded his tongue before he slammed the cup down with more force than necessary, and slopped hot tea across his hand. She actually laughed. “I’m sorry –it was the first name I could think of…I really didn’t realize…It was a shot in the dark, I didn’t think It’d actually be right.”

He glared up at her as he wiped his hand with a napkin. Their relationship is terminated. Since that was the entire point of this conversation, shouldn’t she leave now? He did not care at all for the hot feeling of his face flushing or the look of amusement on her face.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” She was still smiling even as she stood up and walked around to his side. “I should get going. Thanks for the tea…and no hard feelings, really. Oh, and Spock…it’s still early. I bet Kirk would let you in if you stopped by.”

She didn’t wait around to see his face flush further. The door shut behind her and he didn’t get up. He just stayed quiet. As quiet as he’d been the entire time she’d been there. Was she right? Was it truly Jim that he wanted?

Someone tardy, someone illogically emotional…while not truly ideal qualities a Vulcan should look for in a partner, those did fit the captain. In the span of a brief conversation, Jim does everything from laughing to yelling…a million different emotions passing across his face. When Spock talks to Jim, he never gets the sense that Jim is afraid of him, not the way that some of the other crewmembers are.

Before he can change his mind, he stood up and started towards the chessboard on his shelf. He left the tea on the table to get cold as he exited his quarters and started for Jim’s next door.

❖ ❖ ❖

Two weeks until their next destination. While everyone slacked off, Spock knew there was still work to be done. He was busy at his station when Nyota approached. He was ready to receive work related information, when she assumed a very casual posture, leaning back against the console.

“What happened last night?” She asked in Vulcan. “Did you hang out with the captain?”

“The captain and I did play chess.” He replied, slipping easily into his native language.  “I won. I sensed he was not fully focused on the game. Perhaps it was foolish to pursue…”

“Not foolish.” She assured him, crossing her arms. “The captain is just working too hard…look at him!” They both turned their heads to look at Jim, who is practically asleep in his chair. Spock did not really think that looks like someone who works too hard, but he did not comment on that.

“Then I will not visit him tonight.” Spock decided, almost with disappointment. He turned back towards his station to busy his hands. “I will let him rest.”

He felt her eyes on him for a moment longer, before she walked off. While it is strange, the pounding in his heart, the slight shaking in his hands…it is also nice to talk to her. Perhaps it would be beneficial to talk to _someone_ about it. He also got the feeling that she was just as invested in it as he is.

Spock noticed that during the next shift, Jim was a lot more energized. He seemed to have caught up on his sleep, and it showed. He practically bounced from station to station, leaning over people’s shoulders as they discussed the tactics for the upcoming mission.

“Working hard, or hardly working, my friend?” Jim leaned over the scanner at Spock’s station, and Spock stiffened slightly.

“We do not have time to slack off, Captain.” Spock said, averting his eyes when Jim leans further.

“Sure we do.” He straightened up. “Everything looks in order…we still have time to relax before we arrive.”

“Vulcans do not relax.” Spock said before he could think of anything else. It is a most curious thing…his inability to organize his thoughts properly when Jim was around.

“Aw, that’s not true, is it?” Jim gave him a soft smile, and Spock was very aware of his own heartbeat once more. “It was pretty relaxing when we played chess together, don’t you think?”

Spock didn’t want to risk saying something wrong, so he just nodded. This seemed to please Jim, who’s smiled widened. “Good! We should play again soon. Maybe I’ll build up a winning streak.”

Jim returned to his own chair, but Spock was still hyperaware of the captain’s presence, as well as his scent that lingered slightly near Spock’s station. As a Vulcan with superior senses, he’d always recognized the strong scent of humans, and how each was different. Jim’s –Spock had realized the other night over their game –was very pleasant.

❖ ❖ ❖

“Nyota, have you noticed the captain has increased his visits to my station during alpha shift approximately twenty percent, in the last three days?” He found himself saying in an almost excited tone as he sat down beside her in the dining hall. It was such rapid Vulcan, that he was briefly worried that she would ask him to repeat himself, and he isn’t sure he could.

“I have noticed.” She nodded, a slightly smirk on her face. “It’s very…cute.”

While he wanted to argue that it was not cute, he also wanted to tell her something else he had noticed. “In addition, the captain has held his word in that we have played chess once more since he offered. I have also noticed that he is not what humans refer to as…a sore loser.”

“That’s adorable, Spock.” She laughed. He wanted to tell her that it was not adorable, when she leaned in a bit and lowered her voice as she switched back to Standard. “Is that all you’ve done, then? You haven’t talked to him about your feelings?”

“Now is not the time.” Spock said, looking to where Jim sat with Dr. McCoy several tables away. In truth, he feared what Jim would say in response. He had no idea how Jim felt towards him, and he needed much more time to attempt to figure it out.

That night, Spock loses their chess match. It is not a conscious choice, rather he lets his gaze linger over Jim’s features; the curve of his smile or his hands on the table, to the point where he only remembers to make a move when Jim prompts him.

It was inevitable that Spock would lose, when he cannot focus properly. This allows him to at least observe another thing about Jim; he is a gracious winner.

“Good game, right?” Jim smiled and offered his hand. Spock stared down at it. To take it…such an intimate act, especially since they were alone. Would Jim’s scent linger on his hand?

“Well, uh, we probably have a lot of work to do…so, I’ll leave you to it.” Jim retracted his hand before Spock could take it. Spock fought down the color in his face as he put away the board, his hands shaking slightly.

The next time he saw Nyota, he almost proudly reported to her that the captain is both gracious at winning as well as losing.

“Wow, you’ve really got it bad, don’t you?” Was her only response.

He was silent for a moment. He knew she was trying to imply his affection for Jim was deep to an almost-comical level. But he just shook his head. She is wrong. There is nothing bad about feeling this way.

❖ ❖ ❖

Jim passed his quarters that evening, unable to settle down to do paperwork. Jim knew Spock and Uhura were talking about him. He had no idea why or really what they were saying –they were always too far away, but he’d heard _ang'jmizn_ at least a dozen times in the last week. He’d thought things were getting better, he and Spock seemed to be getting along over chess…even if Spock hadn’t shaken his hand last night.

That was to be expected. He realized a minute later that was a social taboo on Vulcan. All this time…all this looking into the wellbeing of the colony, and he hadn’t bothered to crack open a book or learn a few words. It was too late now. Though he was strangely desperate to know what they were saying, he couldn’t risk asking either of them for language lessons, not when it would ensure they’d take their conversations elsewhere if they knew he could understand them.

There had to be something…a link to Vulcan that wasn’t through Uhura or Spock. He stopped in his tracks. Or, maybe it was Spock. The colony…of course. He crossed the room to the computer and set up the call, his fingers flying over the buttons.

“Good morning.” The elder Spock greeted him with his usual smile, polar opposite of the Spock that Jim saw every day.

“Morning?” Jim checked the time. “Sorry, I forgot…I didn’t realize.”

“It is of no consequence.” The elder Spock assured him. “I was just up to tend to my garden. The plomeeks should be harvested soon.”

“Right…”

Jim didn’t look directly at the screen now, preferring to study his own fingernails. He knew how the elder was looking at him. It was that “you look just like someone I care about deeply, and now they’re gone” look. Jim didn’t just have to talk to the elder Spock to get that look. He could get it from his mother, or pretty much anyone that ever knew George Kirk.

“Is there a particular reason you called?” He asked, snapping Jim’s attention back.

“Yes.” Jim glanced up at the screen, staring just over the elder Spock’s shoulder. “I wanna learn to speak Vulcan. It…might be useful.”

“Does this have anything to do with my younger counterpart?” He asked, and Jim could tell through his peripheral vision that he was doing the eyebrow thing that his younger counterpart was also fond of.

“No. Yes…” There’s no point in lying.

“I will assist you.” He nodded.

“Really?” Jim had expected to have to explain the entire situation, and he was now wondering if he shouldn’t have stuck with the original lie, since he wasn’t being questioned.

“Of course. You have called at the optimal time. The educational resources on Vulcan have recently been completed enough so that Vulcan children have returned to school. I can send you many of the same texts and learning applications that they use.

“Thanks.” He was actually getting excited. He didn’t care that he’d be essentially doing grade-school work.

“I will also assist you in any way that you may need.” The elder Spock nodded.

“Thanks again. I uh, should let you get back to your plomeeks, or whatever.” Jim gave him a small smile before terminating the connection. Just before he hung up, the elder Spock gave him another smile.

A moment later, his padd beeped with several files sent from the elder Spock. Jim scrolled through them, finding several vocabulary lists. His eyes never leaving his padd, he reached across towards the replicator for coffee. It was going to be a long night.

The next couple of days, Jim kept his ears open for when Uhura and Spock would start whispering. He once stopped in his tracks when he could hear them just around the corner, causing an Ensign walking behind him to bump right into him.

They squeaked out an apology and ran off as Jim leaned forward, holding his breath. They were talking, but they weren’t alone. Jim could hear Scotty too, and they were all talking about warp cores. Jim sighed and walked around the corner.

“Aye, afternoon, Captain.” Scotty greeted. “Just going over plans for when we arrive. What do ya’ say to you beaming down with these guys?”

“Sounds great.” Jim nodded, looking to Spock. Spock pointedly did not look back at him. Jim tried to ignore how this made him feel. “Uh, actually, come here for a sec, Scotty. I wanna show you something.”

While Jim showed Scotty some pointless document on his padd, he kept his ears open, and sure enough, Spock and Uhura exchanged a few sentences in low Vulcan. Jim only understood a few words.

“Ang'jmizn…fusik….?” She turned up the last bit as a question.

Spock just nodded in response. Jim did not wait around for more. He dismissed himself, turning on the spot and going to find the nearest room for a second to breathe.

Ashamed…no, shy. Uhura had asked Spock if being around him made him feel shy. He couldn’t think why the hell she’d ask that, unless he’d told her about the other night when Jim tried to shake his hand. God, was he really going to pay for that misstep like this?

The elder Spock called again that evening to ask Jim how his studying was going. Jim truthfully said it was great, and that he was learning a lot, and it was serving its purpose…all truths.

“I am pleased to hear that.” He nodded.

Jim glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door. “Oh, hey, I think that’s the other you. Gotta go...peace and long life, and all that junk.”

He hung up and went to the door. Sure enough, the younger Spock stood there, chessboard in hand. “Good evening, Captain.” He nodded. “Would you be interested in a game?”

“Yep.” Jim took a steading breath as Spock entered and began setting up. He wasn’t going to mess this up. He was going to be perfectly polite.

Jim was so focused on not giving Spock a reason to feel nervous, that his playing was not up to par. He kept his knees drawn to his chest to avoid any accidental touching of feet, and his hands clasped in his lap to avoid any accident hand-touching.

Jim let out a relieved breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding when Spock won. Maybe this would make up for the other night.

“Good…game?” Spock said, looking up from the board, and to Jim’s shock, he offered his hand.

“Uh…yeah, definitely.” Jim said, grinning as he shook it.

Even after Spock left, Jim couldn’t sit down. He found himself pacing once more. Why had Spock told Uhura that shaking hands made him uncomfortable if he was just going to do it anyways? Maybe he’d been nervous at first, but had gotten over it for Jim’s sake? Or maybe, that hadn’t been what they were talking about at all; after all, he couldn’t understand it all.

If it wasn’t Jim’s offer to shake hands that made Spock feel shy, then what was it?

❖ ❖ ❖

Jim found himself in the rec room a few days later. While he used to use as much free time as possible to go to the gym and exercise, he now found himself lying around studying Vulcan at every spare moment. It was really hard, and it wasn’t just memorizing vocabulary the way he wanted it to be.

Even with the elder Spock helping, Jim had a feeling he was missing a lot. For instance, while Uhura and Spock’s low conversation had gotten more frequent, Jim was still unable to stand little else other than the fact that they were talking about him.

“It is as much the inflection and body language, as with any language.” The elder Spock had informed him the other day.

Since then, Jim had watched their facial expressions. It wasn’t always easy, as he couldn’t just stop dead in the hallway and stare at them. He was starting to get discouraged and think he’d never understand.

 The rec room doors open, and Jim turns to see Chekov. After some recent revisions, it had been decided that he’d be joining the landing party as well, which he seemed excited about.

“Ah, Keptin, I have a question.” He sat down across from Jim. “When we beam down, we need proper protection from the sun on this planet, yes?”

But Jim wasn’t really listening, as the doors had just opened again and Spock and Uhura entered, in a deep discussion. Jim leaned halfway out of his chair to hear them better.

“You shook his hand?” She sounded astonished, as was Jim who realized he’d understood her perfectly.

 “It is customary after a game.” Spock said, and Jim watched the way there was the slightest hint of a smile.

“Sure, sure…” Uhura nodded, a smirk on her face…”

“Keptin, shouldn’t we bring sunscreen?” Chekov asked.

“Huh? Sure, whatever…” Jim said, still turned in his seat.

Uhura and Spock sat down a little way away, giving him a perfect view of their faces in profile. “Intimate for Vulcans, though.” She was saying.

“You…” Spock said something Jim didn’t understand, but he was giving her a small smile.

“It’s…” She replied with a laugh, something Jim didn’t get.

“Keptin, should we bring SPF 30 or 50?” Chekov asked.

“Either, it’s fine. Whatever you want.” Jim said impatiently, practically out of his chair in an effort to hear them. Uhura was still laughing, and Jim couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not.

“—affection for the captain…a secret?”

“Nyota,” Spock actually blushed. “My affection for the captain –“

Even with his choppy understanding, he got that. He gasped, his padd clattering loudly from his lap onto the floor. He snatched it up and bolted from the room, leaving behind Chekov who was calling after him about sunscreen.

“Hey, there you are.” Jim had been blindly walking through the halls, when he felt McCoy’s hand on his shoulder. “I haven’t seen you after shift in a while. I guess you’ve been working for when we get to the planet?”

“I…gotta talk to you.” Jim hadn’t meant for to sound as cryptic as it did. McCoy just pulled his hand back from Jim’s shoulder and nodded.

“So, what’s up?” McCoy asked once they were in his office. “Is this a scotch talk or a bourbon talk?” He shuffled through the bottles in his cupboard and pulled them out. Both were down to the last bits. “I guess both…”

“I think…” Jim took the glass from McCoy and drank it. The burning sensation was the last push he needed. “I think someone on the ship is secretly in love with me.”

“Ah, I’m sure it’s a nice ego boost for your already large head.” McCoy chuckled as he drank his glass. Jim knew McCoy was thinking of some hot young Ensign.

“No, I’m being serious.” Jim shifted a bit in his seat. “I heard them talking…it’s Spock.”

“Spock…” McCoy just stared at him. “As in, our friend with _no emotions._ Secretly in love with you? Are you sure your head isn’t getting too big for your shoulders?”

“I’m being serious!” Jim said again, reddening in the face as McCoy laughed. “I heard him talking to Uhura. And I know for a fact they aren’t seeing each other anymore, cuz Sulu said he walked in on Scotty and Uhura going at in down in engineering.”

“Okay…a mental image I didn’t need.” McCoy chuckled, his calmness and composure was almost unsettling to Jim. “But, I believe you. Let’s say you’re right…how does that make you feel?”

“How –“ Jim felt worked up, like he wanted to snap again, but this made him stop and think. How _did_ that make him feel? He thought of the softer Spock that he saw during chess…The Spock that shook his hand. What if they didn’t just shake hands…what if they held hands?

“Jim, you went all quiet.” McCoy nudged his foot under the table.

“Sorry…I –“ He shook his head. “I think it makes me feel…happy.” He tossed back the rest of his drink and stood up before McCoy could say anything else. “I gotta go. Thanks for the drink.”

Spock had a crush on him. It was like a real crush, not one of the many baseless rumors on the ship. He’d heard Spock admit it. That must be what he and Uhura were always talking about. That was simultaneously adorable and thrilling…Spock talking about Jim right under his nose.

In addition, Spock had actually _liked_ it when he shook hands with Jim. Uhura had said it was an intimate act for Vulcans. And he liked it. He’d definitely do it again, then.

“Good game!” Jim said, the second Spock won their game that night. He’d given up about halfway through, when he realized he couldn’t play straight with Spock so close. Now that he was seeing Spock differently, he couldn’t keep his eyes on the board.

He offered his hand out, his heart pounding as Spock took it. Spock’s hand was so warm. Jim felt his face flush, and he glanced up to see Spock was also blushing a beautiful green. Only after Spock was gone, did it occur to Jim that touch telepathy was a thing. Did Spock sense how Jim felt, just as Jim now knew how Spock felt? Well, that’d actually be useful. Then maybe soon they could actually get things going together.

❖ ❖ ❖

They were finally reaching their destination, and Jim could feel the ship-wide relief. This was a big deal, to establish ties with a unique culture, as Uhura reminded them daily. Once they beamed down to the planet, they would have to attend a special ceremony that sounded a lot like it would include some sort of dancing.

Not only had Jim been anticipating that, but he’d been anticipating something else as well. Their final weeks of travel had seen everyone working hard once more. This meant for conversations as people exchanged information and made plans. Jim had practically lived with one ear glued to the rec room door when he knew Uhura and Spock were in there.

He’d heard Spock practically gushing to Uhura about how long their after-game handshake had lasted the night before. Jim suppressed his own laughter, as he heard Uhura laughing from inside. He also heard Uhura practically badgering Spock about revealing his feelings.

Jim held his breath in anticipation for the answer, and he understood it perfectly when Spock sighed and said, “I fear he will not feel the same way.” Jim only had a split second to feel his heart break, before there was a voice in the hall behind him.

“What the heck are you doing?” Sulu asked, looking down at an awkwardly-crouched Jim.

“Nothing.” He said quickly, bolting back to his quarters.

❖ ❖ ❖

“Taluhk nash-veh k’dular…” Jim practiced his pronunciation in the mirror as he put on the fancy robes required for the ceremony. “I cherish thee….”

After overhearing Spock’s fear, Jim had finally broken down and confessed the real reason he wanted to learn Vulcan to the elder Spock. If he was surprised, he did not show it. In fact, he acted as if he he’d been expecting it all along, which really got Jim thinking about what things were like between him and the version of Jim he knew before. But it was a very personal question, so he didn’t ask.

He did, however, ask how to reveal his feelings in Vulcan. It seemed the best way, and he wasn’t getting anywhere when he just scanned the documents he’d been studying. It was with a hint of a smile that the elder Spock taught him the proper pronunciation.

“Taluhk nash-veh k’dular.” He said one last time to his reflection, before turning and leaving his quarters.

Everyone beaming down was also dressed for the ceremony. Somehow, several more people were roped into it, following the natives admitting it was the more the merrier.

“This thing looks stupid, doesn’t it?” McCoy tugged at the collar of his robe.

“I think it’s nice.” Sulu examined his reflection in one of the viewports.

Jim went to look over Scotty’s shoulder as he prepared them all to beam down. He was nodding to himself, listening to Chekov whine about sunscreen behind him, when he also caught the low tones of Spock. Jim nonchalantly backed away from the console enough to catch what they were saying.

“Scotty is looking at me.” Uhura said in standard. “Do you think it’s the robes?”

“Perhaps.” Spock replied in Vulcan, and Jim practically strained to hear the rest. “They are certainly becoming. The captain looks very…beautiful.”

“Aye, we’re ready, Captain.” Scotty said.

“What are you smiling about?” McCoy asked as they all got onto the transporter pad.

“Everything. I look good, I feel good. This is all going great!” Jim didn’t stop smiling, even as he felt the strange beaming sensation.

❖ ❖ ❖

The ceremony went off without a hitch, and a new planet was welcomed nicely into the federation. Afterwards, the party was better than Jim had expected. Apparently this race really loved to party.

It was getting a little tiring for Jim to politely refuse every one of them that offered themselves as a dance partner. While everyone else seemed to be dancing with everyone else, Jim was saving himself for Spock.

He scanned the crowd, seeing many of their host planet’s race dancing with one another. Chekov had managed to drag Sulu onto the dancefloor, and now seemed to be eyeing McCoy with the same intention.

Jim’s breath caught in his throat when he spotted Spock and Uhura standing on the wall. He tried to be casual as he approached them and leaned against the wall a little way away. He tried to act as if he was just resting, but he was really straining to hear their conversation over the chatter.

“Why don’t you ask him to dance with you?” Uhura asked in Vulcan.

“I cannot…not now.” Spock replied, not looking at her.

“You have to stop being so shy! Nothing is ever going to happen if you don’t take a chance.” She said. “Now is the perfect time…everyone else is dancing.”

Jim spotted one of the planet’s persistent inhabitants approaching him. He’d already declined them once, and it looked like he needed to find a partner fast, or he’d have to do it again. Well, Spock may be shy, but Jim wasn’t. Not anymore, at least. He knew what he wanted.

“Hey, Spock.” Jim turned towards him. Both he and Uhura looked over, and he tried to not feel hot under their stares. “Dance with me?” He offered his hand the same way he did after each game.

There was a split second where he thought Spock would refuse, his hand trembling slightly. Spock blushed that same way he often did over chess, and then took his hand.

“You know, I’ve really enjoyed the extra time we’ve been spending together.” Jim said as they moved to the dancefloor. There was a not awkward, but strangely intimate moment where their free hands hovered over one another, before settling on each other’s shoulders.

“I too have found the time to be very…beneficial.” Spock said after a moment. Jim wondered if Spock could read him telepathically from where their hands were still clasped. He wouldn’t mind it so much if he could.

“Beneficial?” Jim asked as they began slow dancing. Everyone else was dancing fast, some with multiple partners at the same time. But this was fine for them.

“I believe it has taught me the benefits of…relaxing.” Spock said.

“See, I knew you could do it.” Jim smiled. He’d also taken the time during chess to watch Spock’s face; the darkness of his eyes, the adorable arch of his brows. It was all even cuter up close. “So, um…” Jim’s heart pounded. He shouldn’t be nervous. Spock was the nervous one. He was supposed to take charge.

“Jim…is there something you wish to discuss?” Spock asked, tilting his head inwards a fraction of an inch. It was miniscule, but it made a huge difference to Jim.

“Yes.” He said, matter-of-factly, taking a steadying breath. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

“You can tell me anything, Jim.” Spock said earnestly, and when Jim’s eyes flicked up to Spock’s once more, there was a mutual blush.

“Okay.” Jim tightened his grip on Spock’s shoulder a bit. “I’m…glad that we’re getting along better. It’s better for the whole crew, actually.”

“Yes.” Spock nodded. “I am pleased with this development as well.”

“Do you…” Jim chuckled. “Do you remember when we first met? God, we hated each other.”

“I never hated you, Jim.” Spock said it so softly that for a second, Jim wasn’t sure he’d heard it. That only made his heart pound faster that it seemed to shake his whole body.

“There’s something else.” Jim refused to lose his nerve. “The thing is…I like you. A lot.”

There was a second afterwards that felt like an eternity. Their footsteps faltered out of sync. Spock looked at him with a hint of confusion and voice was almost guarded when he spoke. “I too enjoy your company.”

“That’s…not what I mean.” It was with more heartbreak that Jim realized Spock was purposely distancing himself from the truth. He didn’t dare believe it, not even when Jim was telling him right to his face, because a small part of him still fears rejection. “I heard you and Uhura talking. I –“

Jim forced his eyes upwards, looking into Spock’s deep dark gaze as he felt the words tumble out. The same words he’d been turning over and over in his mind, even before he knew how to same them.

“What I’m trying to say is…Taluhk nash-veh k’dular…”

He knew he got the pronunciation right when Spock’s eyebrows rose a fraction in surprise and there was the same flush in his cheeks that he usually got when they shook hands after chess, only down it was darker, spreading down his neck and disappearing beneath the collar of his robe.

Jim couldn’t help but smile at how adorable Spock was. More emotion seemed to be crossing his face in these few seconds, than Jim had seen in a while. Realization of the depth of the words, as well as the fact that Jim could understand what Spock had been saying. Most of it, at least.

But Jim didn’t want to wait for Spock to comprehend all of that. He needed this now. He leaned in, closing the gap between them and kissing him softly. He moved his hands to cup Spock’s face and kiss him deeper, the fact that they were in a crowded room barely occurring to him.

“Jim…” Spock whispered when Jim pulled back.

“What was it that you said about me earlier?” Jim asked, taking a second to breath. “Beautiful?”

It was Spock who closed the gap this time, his mouth closing roughly over Jim’s, and his teeth lightly nipping at Jim’s bottom lip.

“We need to get out of here.” Jim whispered when they broke for air. He found he scarcely recognized his own voice, it was so thick and raspy with lust.

“Yes.” Spock said, the one word proving to Jim that his voice was just the same.

Spock’s hand closed firmly around Jim’s wrist, practically pulling him through the crowd. With his free hand, Jim fumbled to pull his communicator from the folds of the robes. “Scotty, two to beam up.” He hoped the sound of his voice wouldn’t give anything away.

❖ ❖ ❖

Deciding to learn Vulcan was probably the best decision of Jim’s life, for many reasons. One being that Spock was a talker during sex. Jim was only coherent enough to understand small bits as his tongue passed roughly over Spock’s skin, but what he heard, he loved.

 _“Good…good…yes.”_ Spock gasped and then whined as Jim paused long enough for them to yank their robes off.

“And I know you were shaking my hand on purpose…” Jim said, pushing Spock down onto the bed and climbing on top of him. He reached and grabbed one of Spock’s hands now, pressing their palms together. “An intimate act for Vulcans, right?”

“Jim…” Spock whined again, lacing their fingers together and shifting his hips against Jim’s.

“God, I love you.”

Jim hadn’t meant to say it. He blushed, and went to bury his face into Spock’s neck, when Spock leaned up and captured his lips in a kiss again.

“Taluhk nash-veh k’dular…” Spock practically growled when they shed the last of their clothes, and skin met skin.

“I love you…” Jim breathed out, empowered by it now, but too worked up to try and translate. They seemed to both slip into their native languages as they moved together. Breathing and trying to caress as much skin as possible.

“Ashayam…” Spock gasped and moaned as Jim found his hand once more, shaking beneath him as Jim stroked Spock’s thumb with his own. “Jim…” Spock whispered urgently in Vulcan, and though Jim was too preoccupied to translate, it was obvious what he was saying.

“Love you, baby. Wanna feel you come…” Jim mumbled against Spock’s neck, unsure if Spock could even understand him. A moment later, he felt Spock tremble beneath him, and hot cum coating his stomach.

“Jim…” Spock asked something, but it didn’t matter if it was standard or not, because Jim was too far gone to comprehend. He just nodded. That must have been the right answer, as just the, Jim felt Spock grab him by the hips and flip them over.

Jim gasped as Spock leaned down, latching him mouth onto Jim’s neck. Either he was using telepathy, or he was just naturally gifted, as each movement of Spock’s mouth seemed to find a spot on his neck more sensitive than the last.

Jim was gasping and moaning beneath him, hips rocking wildly. He felt Spock settle for a spot on his collar bone and bite, sending Jim into a whirl of pleasure. His hands clawed roughly at Spock’s back. His hips were suddenly pinned by Spock’s, and Jim felt himself tip over the edge, shouting something that he wasn’t even sure of.

“Why…why didn’t you tell me before?” Jim was still breathing heavy as Spock laid down next to him. “I’ve been waiting…for weeks for you to say something.”

“I feared you would not feel the same way.” Spock replied. “Did you…truly take it upon yourself to learn the language, simply so that you could eavesdrop on my private conversations?”

“I think it was worth it…What was it that you called me earlier?” Jim asked, reaching for Spock’s hand once more.

“Ashayam…” Spock kept his gaze millimeters away, and Jim did not miss the slight blush on his cheeks.

“Right…beloved. I like it.” Jim squeezed Spock’s hand.

It had definitely been worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on tumblr @frappuccinio


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